What I lost with Turban

Hard to Imagine how many changes I have seen into myself, not only have I seen myself growing from a kid to a young man and now I am looking for that sunset. The most drastic of all the changes was change in my personal appearance. I was 15 when I started wearing Turban, a symbol of honor and nobility, I used to feel very different and empowered, I was always more matured then my age and now when I speak I don't even recognise myself and often I am forced to ask myself a question.... Who are you? .....and that is the question I cant find an answer. it is not that I am not the same person I used to be but there is something which died in me with that Turban. Not that I was or am attached to my Turban but I always felt empowered and my presence made helpless and poor comfortable. Sikhs were always seen as protectors and saviors, though I was a little kid but lot older people especially women folk felt safer in the presence of a Sikh, Says this 55 year old Gurbachan Singh who had to cut his hair in 1984 to survive the Wrath of Hindu fundamentalists.
You in a Misty and fogy day may miss the Ifal tower but you wont miss a Sikh gentlemen if one is on the road. Sikh are given a very unique and distinctive look, which makes it harder for the Sikhs to hide or blend in the crowd, Thousands were massacred after the assassination of the Indian Prime Minister in 1984, just because they were different and could be identified because of their Turban. Many Thousand of Men women and Kids were done to death, their fault? they were born Sikhs and were wearing Turbans. (Subject is too painful to touch).
The definition of Sikh is Saint and a solider does not fit that well in the modern world which has designated law enforcement agencies but 500 years ago Sikhs provided a sigh of relief to all those who were tossed around or converted to Islam by force. Sikhs fought 100 plus years as a Solider and Saint not against Islam but the fanaticism of few who were hell bent to convert every one to Islam. Sikhs fought when they had no option but to protect the rights and life of poor and helpless. Being Saint and Soldier they not only fought the enemy but also provided them water and attended to their wounds, as most of the enemy were fighting under orders of the fanatic ruler of the Era.
I grew up in a place where Sikh population was next to nothing, with 98% of Muslim population, it was an interesting way of life. Whenever in market or in school, people could not stop looking at you and I always felt may be I was too good looking that people cant take their eyes of me, little did I knew that It was how I looked was interesting for the 98% of the population.  I am used to people looking at me differently but recently especially after the failed New York attack I am getting lot more attention and gaze then I anticipated.

Hard to Imagine we all look so much similar but still we are miles apart when it comes to how we feel. Recently I have been noticing that lots of eyes following me for good or bad, I can't help to smile at them and I question myself why am I conscious? why does this bother me?
Though I have meet few kind souls since the failed attack in New York, their eyes follow me in nooks and corners but after my pale smile they are left with no option but to smile back, it fills my heart with Joy that you don't differentiate a person by their skin or looks but by their deeds and few just walk away. I grew up as a minority in a places which was 98% Muslims and 2% Hindus, Sikhs and Christian and being born into a Sikh family you were always different then others, You are taught to live to the expectations of all others and help anyone who needs it. This act of generosity and care might freak out few especially in West,  why are you doing this? what you want?.. nothing really this is how I was brought up would be a chocked response, well you learn and adopt to live under circumstances but few appreciate who get to know you.

I remember as a child whenever I traveled by Bus I felt if I was the only protector of helpless and week and often we will hear that a Sikh around makes surroundings comfortable, even the Muslim women felt safer in presence of a Sikh then the people of their own religion.
I remember visiting a village which was few miles away from the major city but kids in the locality had never seen a Sikh before, some one who wears turban, it was a caravan of little boys chasing our motorcycle and calling others come see a Sikh ..... it was little awkward but when we stopped and said hello and they said how they felt that the Sikhs were the protectors and I myself was a little kid and I felt very empowered that I was a protector? that day onwards I sort of grew out of the childhood and became a matured man despite being a nine year old.
I tried to follow what others expected of a Sikh, turban a sign of honor and symbol of a protector always reminded me of what was expected of me rather what I wanted to do. Some times someone might praise you to the heights of the sky and then you wont be able to find way back to the reality that is what happened with me, but know if you are wearing a turban, it might take you many hours to get out of the airport, it took me fours to get out of the Honolulu Airport.
No one to blame but the circumstances and most of the people who issue threats wear Turban (Taliban) but these two turbans have no relation whatsoever.

A road to Hell...... If exists

"Two Christian women were beaten up and publicly humiliated by an angry mob in this city apparently over allegations of frivolous religious sacrilege.

The roughing up of the family forced them to go into hiding for fear of being killed, and the fresh incident as the country is yet to recover from the assassination of outspoken governor Salman Taseer for his support to Christian women Aasia Bibi in jail on blasphemy charges".

Iqbal in one of his Poems had said if there is a heaven it is Kashmir, it is Kashmir, It is Kashmir!!!
Today if I have to write Poem on Pakistan it would be "If the Hell exists it is in Pakistan, it is in Pakistan, It is in Pakistan"
If there is a hell....... Pakistan is headed that way and unfortunately there is no one who has the courage or determination to bring Pakistan back to Pakistanis. The recent beating of a Christian women and her mother, who was beaten black and blue by thousands of men women and children tells the story of modern days barbaric Pakistan. The fault of the women is that she married a Muslim man who watched as a mute spectator when his wife was kicked and slapped by thousands of fanatics over the allegations of frivolous religious sacrilege, despite the plea of mother and daughter that they were innocent, there was no ear who could listen them and no tongue who can support them, they were garlanded with shoes, their faces blackened and paraded on the streets. I wonder what kind of society is this? I have nothing against Pakistan but I worry for the people who are not radicals but have to toe the line of fanatics. Unfortunate part is that the men and women who violated the rights of a Christan women and her mother are hailed as heroes by media and no action has been taken against them by the Pakistani administration. I am sure if hell exists it is in Pakistan.
Governor of Pakistani Punjab was assassinated last week by his own bodyguard, His fault? He tried to save the honour of a Christian women who was lodged in a jail for blasphemy charges or something similar. Radicals were hell bent to teach Governor a lesson for his support to a Kafir (one who is not Muslim). I guess it was loud enough that none from Pakistan had courage to offer prayer at Governors burial and the poor fellow was just dragged and dugged in the ground with a proper burial. I remember when India and Pakistan went to war over the Kargil Issues many Pakistani soldiers were killed in combat but India instead of throwing their bodies on the hilltops or in rivers provided them a proper burial as per the Islamic Law.
I wonder how evil this Governor was that not even a one person had the courage to defy the diktat of the fanatic Mullah's. Pakistan is now  a nation of Taliban and fanatics, but once upon a time it used to be a nation of artists, inventors and creators, a nation which had pride in its rich culture and attiquates is now the epicenter of terrorism. All the incidents related to terrorism in anywhere in the world is most often traced back to Pakistan.
Pakistan which is neck deep in murky waters of corruption,lawlessness and terrorism, some even refer to it as the exporter of hate and terrorism which is not neccessarly true but one wonders what is lies ahead for Pakistan. A nuclear state ready to fail? or a disaster ready to happen, it is not only India which is concerned about the fate of Pakistan but all other neighbors and Europe as well. A nuclear state in the hands of fanatics is a deadly recipe which every one would like to avoid. I am starting to wonder if the Marshall law is the fate of Pakistan? History is witness that none of the elected governments were in in control at any time, right from Zulfikar Ali Bhutto to Nawaz Shrif and now the Armani Clad Prime Minister of Pakistan or the famous center of corruption President Zardari.

Taliban which was the creation of Pakistan (ISI) and the CIA to combat the might of USSR in Afghanistan is a mad dog which is after the life its master and is largely responsible for Pakistan's pathetic condition. Today's Pakistan is the Nation of religious fanatics and warmongers but I wonder what happen to torch bearers of Peace (who have nothing to do with the religion).
Pakistan which was known for the legendary artists like  Iqbal, Noor Jehan, Begum Akhtar, Ghlum Ali, Mehndi Hassan and many more. it was once a centre of culture and antiquities is now known as the epicenter of terrorism.
I always had high regards for the Pakistani culture despite the fact that history was not in favor of the Muslim Nation. The famous saying goes "wounds heal with time" and it was few decades after the 1947 and some of the barbaric stories I had heard were fading, the positive attributes of human nature forces us to look forward instead of  the past, but the recent incidents in Pakistan bring back all those faded stories right in front of my eyes as if the history is repeating itself.
Pakistani Military is playing a Major role in deciding the fate of that nation, even now though it is a democratically elected government but it is the Military which makes the policy. it is the compulsion of the Pakistani Military leadership or the fear of USA retaliation that they are not imposing the Marshal law in that country otherwise Pakistani military especially General Kyani has all the good reasons to impose Marshal law to tackle the law and order in Pakistan. General Kyani has the ability to control the mess and he might be able to bring Pakistan back to a Nation of somewhat stable people.

I cant find words in Poetry which to express my Poet in me but may be at a later stage, I will be able to express something about the Iqbal's Nation, who left India for a better Pakistan.

One More Life Please...........

What would you if you were given another life to live? or you were given a rewind your life back, where would you start from? Yeah I  know it is quite complex question and comes with complicated answers, but do you ever wonder what it would be like if we had the power to rewind back?
I met a gentlemen who lived a very pious life of 70 years, had no regretts whatsoever from life but when I asked if he had the chance to rewind back where would he like to start from? I could see a shiny glare in his eyes, the old faded memories were dancing on his eyelids. " I would like to see my Childhood my Mother Father and those innocent days" He said. Was he still a kid inside I thought. He was content in life but he missed opportunities in life which would have brought him lot of wealth and somewhat happiness because he would have been in position to leave a large inheritance for his children. Though he claimed to be content and happy but the reality was that he was far from it.
My quest to find answer to this question has gotten me in trouble many a times but I am curious and you pay some price for your curiousity. I thought people who have dedicated themselves to Meditation and God might have an answer for me so I went to a Yogi (People who have detached themselves from all earthly possesions). I said you must be very Happy Swami Ji (Holly Man) flying came the reply Happy my Ghanta.......(it is an indian slang I rather not translate). I was speechless, was not sure what to say and how to begin, but I started why are you not Happy Swami Ji, He was not happy because people were not paying him his due respect, he has been meditating for 40 years and at this end of his life people think he was a begger. He was not happy with the treatment as it was hurting his ego. Do you have an ego? Are not you detached from all of it or above all of it? I guess not, He worshiiped whole of his life but lost to his ego.
I met a man who had made millions and was very proud of it  for most of his life except the tale end of his life when he was  ready to depart, my questions increased the lines of his forhead and he Said" I will start over again, I will undo all those things which my soul is burdened off". He made lots of money but not all of it was ethical or not all of all was his money. He was wondering why he had to resort to those acts in life, the kids he raised were not near him or they did not care about him or was he too busy making deals and lost track of bonding with his children? What do I know but my interaction with this Holly man who was very sane and respected for his knowledge sacrifice and devotion to the religion, He was a strong desiple of Hunuman (Monkey God), He has taken a Vow never to have a relationship with a women raise a family or wealth, Upon my enquiring he was very happy in life, had no Issues with money, was happy without family but only thing he yearned about was a women body, He missed Sex so much that he would day dream about it. I was happy to know that he spoke from his heart and I am a strong believer if these things were not ment for you the Creator would not have created desire for it. Right?
In Sikisim (sikhnet.com) empisis is on to stay away or clear from Kam (Lust) Krodh (Anger) Loab (Greed) Moh (Attachemnt) Ahnkar (Pride), these are the five components if you can control you might be able to achive Nirwana (Peace at the end of Your Journey). This does not mean you dont have to have all the beautiful things in life, you can have them but not be attached, you can have them but not be greedy, you can have them but still be humble, you can substitute anger for love and the lust part is you can enjoy it but only if it comes out of love not Lust.
Happiness does exist and it begins with you, we all have flaws but they are all for your good, if people think you are not good looking trust their is something wrong with their eyes, because ceator created you beautiful, If people think you are beautiful, it is just skin deep, be happy and humble about it, real beauty lies inside of you!! If you are poor dont let it bother you not one would take anything to the other world except the good deads, If you are rich use it for the betterment of the humanity because you can't take with you either. Be detached and if it is your it will come back to you. Being postive in life helps, learn to trust every one unless they give you reason not to trust them.
These were some of the lessons I have learnt from my curiousity but I am still lost in all those questions and have no real answer, when I find that might have attaind command over one attribute I find myself lost on the other same way the Holly mans Day Dreams!!!!!

हज़रून ख्वाशीन एसी की हर खाविश पे दम निकले !

बहौत निकले मेरे आरमान  लेकिन फिर बी कम निकले!!