1984 A dark day of Indian History

1984 a year marked with Red Ink on the face of Indian Democracy, Year and the day which would always hunt those who lived through it for their lives and would stay as a soar for next generations to come। A republic of India which under constitution guarantees to safeguard and protect life and human rights of its citizens has failed numerous times to do so but still claims to be a nation of communal harmony and brotherhood, Nation of saints and Sufi’s…………… Where were they on October 31, 1984? 1984 was the year when Prime Minister of India was assassinated by two of her very trusted body guards, reason of her assassination was that she had ordered attack on the Golden Temple the Holiest temple of Sikhs In Amritsar India। She had reports that some of the fundamentalist Sikhs were ready to demand a separate state for Sikhs and had backing of Pakistan to wage war against India। Sikhs who were in forefront of the agitation against England during Quit India movement refused to a separate nation in 1947 when Pakistan was created out of India. Whatever the reasons behind the demand for a separate Sikh nation is or was it was/is a political demand which has nothing to do with a law abiding citizen. After the attack on Golden temple by the Indian Government Sikhs all around the world felt humiliated and hurt. People were against government for such an extreme step which destroyed part of the Sikh temple and Holy seat known as Akal Takahat. Lots of youth had burning desire for revenge but it was against government not Hindus, Muslims or Christians for that reason. Out come of that revenge was that two of very trusted bodyguards killed the first and only vibrant women Prime Minister of this developing nation. News was out that Prime Minister was killed by her Own Body Guards and they happened to be Sikhs that was enough for the party loyalists to mobilize crowds of people and they started attacking Sikhs in Delhi, First such attack was on the President of India (Who was a Sikh) in front of the Police commissioner of Delhi, sent message to rioters that If a President can be attacked, it is alright to attack whoever is a Sikh. Sikhs heard of the minor incidents around so they all gathered in their neighborhood temples and decided to face the crowds together in case they were attacked. They still were under impression that Police and Army of the country will protect them. People in the forefront of the attacks on Sikhs were none other then the same people who have taken oath under constitution that they will safeguard the rights and life of the People of India, Congress which was the Governing party of the country at that time decided to take revenge from the killers and for them killer was any one who wore Turban, who was a Sikh no matter if he or she was 4 year old. Son of the Slain Prime Minister, who was in charge, had given clear indications that he was not against attacks on Sikhs, infact made clear that people should be allowed to seek revange for their beloved leader. He was made Prime Minster of the country and issued a statement after the Massacre that “when a large tree falls lot of shrubs gets buried under it and it shakes the earth as well” I still wonder what he meant by that…॥ He had no remorse for the hunting Images of the children being burnt alive. When crowds were unable to harm Sikhs together, they took police to task and police ordered Sikhs not to assemble at one place and go to their homes. When protectors turn into assassins who else you can trust, it was matter of few hours that the same policemen were showing rioters way to the homes which belonged to the Sikhs and at this point Sikhs were segregated and could not face the huge crowds of people who not only killed men women and children but they burnt them Alive with pouring gasoline on their bodies, Putting burning tires around their necks. It was horrible dance of death on the Streets of Delhi which was supported by the Government of India. Parts of it were captured by the International Media which still exists on the Internet. I have seen those Images and whenever I think about them they haunt me, how can human beings will have some one swallow gasoline and then lit their face????????? I can’t find answers to all such questions, but It is more then 22 years, government has established many fact finding committees, majority of them found Government Machinery guilty along with elected cabinet Ministers and Senior party members of the Congress, but none so far has been punished for their crimes…. What crime? Was killing Sikhs a Crime? Not in those days……… it was an act of bravery and Nationalism! I wonder if It was…. They could not decorate those crowds with the Gallantry awards because of the fear of International community otherwise they would have honored all those brave killers with medals and Citations. As none was punished for more then twenty thousand deaths who were burnt alive, hacked to death, Kids were cut into pieces, Men were held from their long hair and dragged on the roads till their death, If they were shot to death, death would have been pleasant, but they were killed for hours and hours and many of them must have prayed Oh lord what more you want? Why not take this life away॥ ….This reminds me of a Prayer from Sikhism, where 10th Guru of the Sikhism Gobind Singh Ji communicates with the Almighty. When he was fighting Moguls (Who were converting Hindu’s to Islam by Force) The Creator Himself does not take the blame, but has sent the Mugal as the messenger of death. There was so much slaughter that the people screamed. Didn't You feel compassion, Lord? O Creator Lord, You are the Master of all. If some powerful man strikes out against another man, then no one feels any grief in their mind. But if a powerful tiger attacks a flock of sheep and kills them, then its master must answer for it. This priceless country has been laid waste and defiled by dogs, and no one pays any attention to the dead. You Yourself unite, and You Yourself separate; I gaze upon Your Glorious Greatness. One may give himself a great name, and revel in the pleasures of the mind, but in the Eyes of the Lord and Master, he is just a worm, for all the corn that he eats. Only one who dies to his ego while yet alive, obtains the blessings, O Nanak, by chanting the Lord's Name. Gobind Singh 10th Guru of Sikhs, who Sacrificed His Father Guru Teg Bahudar Ji when he was only thirteen years of age to save the Hinduism from the Mogul ruler who was converting them to Islam by force, Gobind Singh Ji, blessed Sikhs with a different Identity which was live life of a Saint and Solider, Be Saints but if a powerful oppresses a meek be Soldiers to protect helpless and weak. He had to pay a huge price for this, not only he lost His Father but He also lost two of his elder son fighting the aggression of Moguls who were destroying Hindu temples and converting Hindu’s to Islam. On the one end Sikhs were fighting Moguls on the other they were providing water to the Wounded and Injured Mogul Soldiers, when they were asked why they are saving their enemy answer came we see My Master Gobind Singh in every face॥, Today these are those same Sikhs who were haunted chased dragged to miserable death. I wondered if after seeing this entire carnage one can develop hate for people based on their religion, I did whatever possible to see if I was one of them. Sikhism does not preach hate for any individual religion or creation, not even for those who have harmed you. If there was any feeling that was a human inside me. Was that hate for people responsible for the acts or for the Government which could have protected thousands of lives from the miserable death? I grew up thinking what was the fault of four year or a child who was just born few weeks ago, who had barely learned how to smile, who have barely lifted his hand to touch his mother, who had barely cried enough…. What was his/her fault? Did he or she have a religion? Did they know what Sikhs were and what Hindu’s are? Who could be hold responsible for their cries? Have people lost their consciousnesses? I have thousands of such questions but have no answers, I always wanted to find what happen to those who were in middle of human genocides, one such person was a Sikh Lorry Driver who had gone to Delhi just to drop off fruit and he found himself in middle of the riots. He was along with another elderly 75 year old Driver with white long beard and a saintly character, According to the Young Lorry Driver “ I asked Baba Ji, that these are bad times and we should find place to hide ourselves somewhere in the lorry, His reply was Don’t you fear I am an old man they won’t hurt me, you all young people should hide yourself and I will stay out to make sure that they do not look inside the trucks for you. He was calm with love of creator flowing in his heart, never thought humans can be so cruel, and another elderly Sikh Driver volunteered to stand with this old grandfatherly person. It was within minutes that we saw a large number of crowd marching towards lorry stand, they gave no chance to this old man to explain anything, some one hit him with a stick while his hands were folded in humility, none had mercy on this old person, he fell down on the ground with his turban off his head. He tried to stand up with his folded hands but was kicked again and was not allowed to speak, some one holed him from his white beard, which was such a disgrace to his religion and to him as a human, His hands were still folded but none had mercy in their eyes, while the other Sikh driver was being kicked and people started pouring gasoline on him, His hands too were folded, Seeking mercy. Seeing his beard pulled and his fellow Sikh doused in gasoline, elderly man took out his Kirpan (6inch unsharpened Knife, which is mandatory for all Sikhs) but he was too weak and old for the crowd, he did became solider for a minute to protect a helpless man who was burnt alive, he was running in flames all around and the crowed chased his burning body till he fell down on the ground, others snatched the Kirpan from old man and pierced his eyes with the same and started pouring Gasoline on him, he was in so much pain that could not take hands off his eyes and he sat down in prayer position , Perhaps asking oh My Lord it is beyond what I can bear why not take me to the world where hate doesn’t exist where people have mercy in their eyes and respect for elderly and helpless. He too was set on fire. He did not ran but pain of the fire made him rumble the ground, He too died in couple of minutes and rioters started burning trucks belonging to Sikhs, so if any one was inside them would burn inside. We were hiding on the roof top of a shed and witnessed the gory murders. All of us found ourelves taking our turbans off our head and tears rolling down our eyes, one of the drivers had a sharp knife and he started cutting his hair, while crying loudly, we all followed him one by one so we can save our lives, our bracelets also came off, anything which could identify us as a Sikh were off us, Beards were also half cut, we walked off the roof and got hold off the rods and sticks which were lying around and ran after the crowed raising anti Sikh Slogans, now we were part of the crowd which was hunting Sikhs, smaller crowds keep joining the large crowd and we became a large sea of people with only one motive find Sikhs and kill them, Mob was led by a congress leader who has acquired the list which indicated which homes belonged to Sikhs, it was not Hindus verses Sikhs but more like politics verses Sikhs a rioters verses Sikhs, lots of Hindu families had provided shelter to their Sikh neighbors, so they can be protected from the wroth of fundamentalists, as we were moving ahead with the crowd and reached a Sikh neighborhood, rioters started burning cars homes and business establishments belonging to Sikhs right in front of the police which was encouraging rioters to take revenge for the death of a Prime Minister from innocent children parents and their grandparents. All the Sikh police men were stripped off their arms and ammunition and were left to defend themselves bare handed many lost their lives while the rest hide themselves in the police stations. Sikhs were dragged one by one from their homes and hacked, kicked, stabbed and then burned if they were still alive. It was amusement for the crowed to pour gasoline on a living Sikh and lit him to fire and watch them running from one corner to the other, laughter’s were plenty, people were enjoying the festival of Lorhi the only difference was that this time they were burning live human beings instead of wood. Naked dance of death was repeated again and again in front of my eyes but I was helpless to do anything, though we were shouting as a crowd don’t harm children and older folks, I thought that might deter people and they would spare children and elderly, but not, this was a day free for all to attain new skills, they had an open field to set some records of how many Sikhs they lynched. Children who were crying and running behind their parents to protect them, to hold them to kiss them were also set on fire by the crowd, seeing this one of our drivers could not handle and ran to save one such child and in doing so he exposed his bracelet and people came to know he was a Sikh, people started beating him, he tried his best to fight them, but he was just one in front of thousands of killers, who killed him with slaps sticks, daggers and their favorite weapon gasoline was again used to char his body, so was done to those little children, their fault? They were born into a Sikh family, their fearful eyes and cries still haunt me, I was not brave enough to save them, I wished at that moment if I could kill the crowd of Killers, but how? I found my way back and kept walking among the rioters claiming to be one of them for next two days when finally curfew was clamped and Army was brought into the town, Son did took revenge for her mother’s death from Innocent children and their parents, thousands were left Orphans and hundreds widows to live with horrifying images of the killings of their parents and husbands in front of their eyes. Sikh temples were burnt Holy books were torn to pieces and people who tried to protect the temples were burnt inside. I had no desire left to live after seeing all that but I had children back home and old parents to take care of. I left that town never to go back there again. I almost every day still think of those two days when law was in the hands of rioters and Government was encouraging them. All responsible for the massacre were applauded by the party high command and the son of the Slain Prime Minister, Thousand of Sikhs left their homes businesses and started moving towards Punjab, a Sikh dominated State. Not even an apology was issued for the loss of human life. My quest to know more about 1984 took me to 30 year old Sikh who was only 6 years of age during the 84 riots. He mentions “We had a very prosperous life; my father had transport business, lived in a nicer neighborhood with my parents and grandparents, it was a morning of fear, every one was tuned to TV and radio to hear what was happening next, smaller incidents were not stopped and government officials were encouraging masses to take revenge and loot, they were told no action would be taken against them… that is true till date none has been prosecuted for over thousands of deaths. My father and grandfather were afraid for all of us, My grandfather was encouraging my father to cut his hair and go to the neighbors home and hide himself while he will fight the rioters, now when I think of my grandfather who was in his 70’s wanted to save my father some how but my father was not willing to cut his hair and he was of the opinion that he would be able to talk to rioters, He wanted us to go to a Hindu neighbors home, we went there to seek refuge as they were close family friends, I still remember their words of their daughter in Law, “Serpents heads should be crushed not provided refuge”, while rest of the family wanted to give us safe place to stay but were helpless in front of New daughter in law. We walked back to our home and decided that we will stay in the home with father and grandfather, It was not acceptable to my father and grandfather, so he told my mother to dress me as a girl, my mother took off my Patka (Head gear Sikh Boys wear) and made brads of my hair and we went out of our home looking for safety in the wild world of merciless killers. My father told me if any one asks if I was a Sikh, say no … we are Hindu’s, my mother was wearing a Bindi (Hindu women wear on their forehead) so was my grandmother. My father took off all our bracelets and Sikh symbol from my Grandmother and told her to walk to a Gurudwara where lots of Sikhs have assembled to save themselves. We went out of the home, we had barely crossed few lanes that we saw a huge crowed of rioters moving towards our neighborhood, they asked us if we have seen any Sikhs around, my mother nodded yes and gave them a wrong direction, some of them started running towards the wrong direction but the rest had the addresses of Sikh families and they moved towards where we lived, After waiting for few minutes, my grandmother handed me to my mother and told her no matter what, you have to save the life of my grandson and I am going back home to save my son. My mother insisted that she should not go back as she will get killed herself, She loved his son more then herself so she started running towards the home and we started walking behind my running grandmother, She was shouting my son is innocent, he has never harmed any one, we hide ourselves behind a wall and saw rioters killing my grandmother right in front of my eyes, my mother was holding my mouth so I don’t shout and get killed, she turned back and started walking towards the safety knowing that with in next few minutes her husband and father in law would be given a miserable death. We reached to a Gurudwara (Sikh Temple), it was filled with Sikhs, youths were holding swords to protect children and families from Hindu rioters, as we entered Gurudwara and my mother started crying bitterly. We stayed there for few days; government has finally decided to bring some law to the capital after condemnations from all around the world. My mother went back to our home immediately after curfew was imposed along with some other neighbors, she fond our home was burnt so was my father and Grandfather, my grandmother was lying dead in front of the home for past two days, My mother never recovered from that shock. Trucks were sent to pick up the half burnt bodies from all over Delhi, I still see the images online and it reminds me of my story of 1984. After situation improved little bit, we moved back to Punjab, where we had some relatives. I had my education there but I always hated that country and I think I still hate it. I miss the touch of my father, I miss when he used to carry me on his shoulder and take out for a walk, I remember he would rush back to home straight from the work just to be with me, any thing and everything I wanted he provided me, I was orphaned and none can understand how much I miss him. My mother still goes back to Delhi and Punjab where she has family memories but since I came to England I never went back and have no desire or wish to visit that nation again”. I wonder how his childhood was destroyed, I am off the same age he is and I was disturbed and am still disturbed by stories and news coverage. What about people who were in middle of it? Would they ever heal? Would they ever get Justice? Would India by appointing a Sikh Prime Minister thinks to wash off its hands from the Sikh genocide? Would guilty be ever punished? Does international Community would ever seek justice for those thousands of families? Despite the dozen commissions which established the key people who instigated the riots still serve in the Government. I saw a beautiful movie Amu which is reflects 1984 in a softer light but still conveys the message. I did found myself in middle of all this, Born as a Sikh I could not believe my eyes what I was watching on the television and what I was hearing, Despite the fact that I was raised in a very spiritual atmosphere without any notion of hate and envy, I found myself on the Crossroads whether to hate all Hindus or Just the Rioters or to forgive them? Who was I to forgive anyone, but I do want to see those responsible for the massacre brought to justice. I was in 8th grade but every evening and every night I thought of it. None was interested in bringing guilty to the court; life was usual for all except the ones who had lost their loved ones or who could not bear the pain of those little children and innocent elders. Many Youth frustrated with the lawlessness and apathy took law into their own hands and took guns to take revenge not only of Amritsar attack but also attack on Sikhs in Delhi. Youth who should be enjoying the days of playful youth, or studying for their future had only one desire, revenge and a Separate homeland where Sikhs would not be massacred again, Guns against guns were loud, many cops got killed many innocent Hindu’s lost their lives and thousands of Sikh youths got killed. Who was the winner? I still wonder the mother who lost all his sons because they wanted to take revenge for all those little souls, or those Hindu’s who had nothing to do with the Delhi riots but still have to pay price for being Hindu’s Majority of the youths in Punjab were killed by the police, even if they were not involved in the Militant activities. I certainly can’t find a winner except those who were responsible for the 1984 Massacre of the Innocent Sikhs; they are shielded, protected and provided handsome rewards. Can I blame Government of India for the Massacre? Sure I can as Government did not perform the Duty of a Guardian. My Understanding is that India has not learnt its lesson from the 1984 riots otherwise they would have stopped from Godra Massacre. It took more then ten years and thousands of lives to bring back peace in Punjab after 1984. How long politicians will play politics of religion to divide and rule? How long people in India would fall to their trap? It reminds me of a Poem Recited By Guru Gobind Singh when He got the News that His two eldest sons 12 years and 14 years were Martyrs for the cause to save Hindus and his two Youngest 7 years and 9 years are being bricked alive as they refused to convert to Islam. Subject is so vast and stories so hunting that I can keep writing about it, but it is the same saga with each individual and each family, different circumstances. I wish it was a bad dream and I can move on but it is a nightmare which will haunt especially to them who lost their loved ones in front of their eyes. Those who are left behind would die every moment thinking of those times. If hate can bring peace and answers to all these questions then every one would be living with peace, but unfortunately hate brings more hate and humans lose ability to think what is right and what is not. Hate is no answer to all the sufferings but sure justice to those who were innocents and punishment for those who were guilty will bring peace to some. You Tube has some videos and Graphic Images of 1984, most of them are television news footing of western media, I will suggest not to watch.

In Search of Happy Town!

In growing economy and wealth, grows number of rich people, with their growth grows transport on roads and Malls in suburbs, World looks beautiful homes palatial. Opportunities to education and better paying jobs increase, but it is the same old world for this 75 year old couple, they have seen the days when there was hardly any transport on the roads and people preferred to walk. Days were good when every one had little to brag about but had the heart and desire to share whatever little they had. I wonder how life was for this 75 year old couple, they live in a small village right by the bank of a beautiful stream which comes through the beautiful hills and mountains. Wind waves the long willow trees and it seems as if they are trying to hug each other. One can see the beautiful blossom in the apple orchids and open fields, beautiful forest surrounding this village makes this a dream land! Everything was beautiful in this village, people, homes, surroundings, but all was not as it looks from the cover. Couple had a cow and few sheep’s which were bought by their son with the thought that cow would give milk and that would help parents with fresh healthy milk. It was a nice thought but son left with his wife soon after they moved to this home in Village, it was important that children get better education as they have to compete in ever progressing world. I noticed that this old man would go every evening to a higher ground right in front of his house and watch the last bus coming to the village, I was curious and asked what is the reason that he without any break sits on that ground, His answer was I am looking if my son and Grand children are in the bus….. I could not understand and asked again but they are not coming, he smiles and tells me how you know he might!! When I was in the Military I would track a large mountain down just to see my son and I would go back, every one thought I was sleeping, it took me seven hours to track but I could save and spend one hour more with him if I ran half way.. So I did that, It is a bond between me and my son, you won’t understand” I asked why I won’t understand? He replied because money is more important to young people then relations, I wanted to ask him his son too was a young and ambitious person but I thought that might hurt the soars of this old man, who knows that his son is not coming but he still sits there with the hope that he may be back one of these days. I watch him wait till the last person de-boards the bus and walks pass him and every one would tell him may be tomorrow your son would come. He was a strong old man, who is known for his heroic acts and dare devil skills but no one knew that his heart beats thousand times per second for his son; even today he would not show how much he wants to see his son. He come back to his home and went straight to his room where he has pictures of his son, he would look at them touch them and then would go back to his bed, right next to his bed he has kept an album, it had all the pictures of his son, He will open Album and start looking into the pictures and would smile and play with his son, for a moment I thought he must have lost his senses but again, he is as sharp as I am if not less, he speaks much more effectively then I can, no he is not it is just my imagination or I can’t fathom that love can make you like this. His lovely wife brought him dinner; his words were we had seen good days when my wife would cook and we always had more then few people for dinner, they lived in an area which was closer to the temple and any one close went to the temple got invited to dinner. It was their son who wanted them to move to the village as it was more peaceful compare to the town, so this old man sold his house in town and built a nice place in village with the thought that it will accommodate whole family and they will live happy after, little they knew that with in couple of months of stay in Village their son and his family missed the lifestyle and convenience of the town. It was a hard piece of Pie for the old couple to swallow and let their son move 100 miles away from them but they had no choice, infect whatever savings they had they give it to their son and family as they wanted him to be comfortable and buy a home or land in town. After watching the old man go to sleep after looking at those pictures I am invited by the generous old lady to sit with her on outer Verandah, I could not resist to ask her, If her husband was fully conscious, she looked at me smiled and said yes he is normal but he loves his son too much! He cries when alone looking at his pictures… She told me that few months ago father went to town to see his son, who he had not seen for few months, he went to his house, daughter in law was home……… she got annoyed that he was not wearing proper clothes…….. clothes which can match her status In the society, so she created a big scene and when his son came he also took her side and told his father that he should be aware of his reputation and respect in the community. Obviously old man was hurt and did not eat anything whole night and in the early morning he said good bye to his grandchildren and his son who was for sure grown more then this old man had thought. He came back to his village for never to go back to that house again. But he still hopes his son will come one day after realizing how much he loves him… She told me that after giving their savings to their son, what they have left is pension from the Army he worked for and it is not even enough for two of us to survive, He used to invite lots of people for dinner, now if he invites any, one of us goes empty stomach to bed. He is aware of it and I know it bothers him a lot inside but he is not the kind who would complain. Cow which was bought by their son has not been giving milk for the past 4 years and doctors have confirmed that she would bear a calf again but he still every morning wakes up to take her to woods when someone tells him to sell this cow and get a new one, at least you will have some milk. He is so attached to it because it was brought by his son, no matter what………. he will keep it” I was amazed at few of the things this old lady was telling me, She told me his eye sight is week and they can’t afford to buy new glasses, she knows he can’t see well as he is having difficult time to look at the pictures of his son so she got magnifier from one of her friends and told him that he should not stress his eyes and use magnifier to look at the pictures, he does that when no one is around him. She said he goes to town once a month to collect pension, it is so meager that it can barely buy daily needs so she has raised chickens and ducks as he is very found of meat, wheat and rice grows in the fields, vegetables are few but few friends who know how to grow vegetables drop by without the knowledge of husband. Neighbors know our financial situation but no one dares to say anything as they know that old man would retaliate to any comment, should not accept any help smaller or larger, it is wife who creates a balance in the family. He wakes up in the morning chants few prayers and gets ready for breakfast without milk as they can’t afford it. After he finishes his breakfast he is ready to go to the woods with his cow and few sheep’s, each one has a name and he calls them by their name and I was told that he carries his album and magnifier with him and sits under a tree and when he is ready to move from one tree to the other he calls his herd by name and they all come and sit next to him. He is liked by all in the village and lots of people go to woods just to see him and talk to him. He also shares the story of war he had fought and won but after winning all those wars he lost the war with himself. His routine is to come back home around 4:30 he would go upstairs Verandah and looks towards river and forest behind it. Wife brings evening tea with home made bread, which both of them sip while talking their daily routine including the condition of his shoe which is torn underneath and his feet touches the ground but the upper part is still nice. He has few military boots but they are too heavy for him to wear, they laugh at their condition with heavy hearts and move on to the next topic. After their tea ritual it is time for him to go back to the higher ground to see the last bus of the day and wait too see if son was one of the passengers. He can’t reach before this bus as it is a seven hour journey and two bus transfers. Some times some one would come and tell him that they saw his son and would bring smile to him, he will ask them many questions, like how he looked and what did he say? Did he ask about me? Was he healthy? ….and many such questions with very few answers. He had kept a nice pair of slacks and shirt so if he has a chance to go back to his sons place he would wear those so they are not embarrassed… as us usual he comes back to his room looks at the pictures looks at the Album eats his dinner and goes to Sleep.. Now I hurt to think how he must be feeling, I looked at him with loving eyes and wanted to hug him tight but I was shy to do that. I went back to sit with the Old Lady at the verandah, she looked into my eyes and told me that her husband would not live long because he is hurting all the time and he thinks of nothing except his son. She told me that once when their child stopped berating for no reason it was her husband who ran seven miles towards city carrying their son on his shoulder and stopped only when he heard the cry of his son. It was relief for both of us to see him cry and that was the day we decided to move to town. I think what my son is doing is right; he is making sure his children get best of life and education as we wanted for him. He really doesn’t want to come or want us to visit him because his wife thinks we can be bad influence on their children. I have accepted the realty of life and just wish that my husband passes before me so he does not have to suffer my loss as well. I could see the eyes full of tear, they were saying different story then what she told me, She wanted to hold her son the same way she used to hold him when he was a child, he must be grown up but he is still little baby for both his parents, She too was hurting but she has compromised with it. I wonder if their unseen wounds would ever heal. I wonder if she stops cooking nice sweets for his birthday. I wonder if he will stop waiting for the last bus. I wonder………

Two and a Half feet Brother

Some times I wonder if I was a bird! I can soar high up in the sky….. away from the world and the people who care less for anything else but them, would that make me happy I wonder? I wonder when I think of people who choose not to work in middle of the floods, the reason. It is a holiday. Who made holidays for rescuers? Shouldn’t you just rest to gain strength so you are back on the ground to help? Some times I wonder if I was born to a crooked world, a world with lesser love and less sympathy. All these questions and no answers, I was falling asleep. I had a dream I was a bird a bird which soars high in the sky detached from all earthly strings! I saw a child who is barely 4 years of age, can’t imagine how it would be for the parents who lost their children in resent floods in Bihar or the children who have no Idea if their parents are still alive. (If they have concept of birth and death). I can feel the pain a parent must be going through. Being a father even the dream of it horrifies me to the extent that I almost stopped my heart beat. I don’t know what happen to the parents but I know this 4 year old is the only hope for his 2 year old brother, who has no one else except his four year old Hero, who he thinks would protect him from all no matter what, A little angel who looks into his eyes and says without uttering a word, brother are you sure you will be able to carry me through all this water and mud and this four year old looks into his eyes and comforts him “Yes! Don’t you worry my little angel I am your older brother and I will take care of you” Who blessed him with so much courage, wisdom and sense of responsibility? He is carrying his brother on one side of his body holding him tight so he does not fall down and his other hand has a bowl searching for some food somewhere so he can feed to his little angel who has not eaten for more then a day. Younger one looks into the eyes of his hero and says without uttering a word “brother you have walked enough and you must be tired and I don’t think we can find food, and I am not too hungry. I can go without food, there is sufficient water every where not clean though but I am sure we will live for few more days.” Elder brother looks into his eyes and says without words, “ My little angel see there is a huge line and every one is standing waiting for food and I am sure I will get you some milk and something to eat”. Line was a large one with thousands waiting for a meal to survive, and also standing in the line is this two and a half feet elder brother carrying his one and a half feet younger brother with a big smile on his face that he found food for his little angel. It was hours of wait in scorching sun and the line was at the same place where it had started, every one was waiting for the relief agency to come and distribute some food to the people who have not eaten for days, We don’t ask for more then a meal…… just something so we can live! It was joy and moment of hope when we saw a Babu (Relief official) coming with a short lived answer instead of food…. He said “it is a holiday so relief can’t be distributed today and ever one has to wait till Monday”. Little one looked into the eyes of his elder brother and said brother I think I might be able to live till Monday without food, but what little angel saw in the eyes of his brave elder brother was helplessness and tears saying sorry I don’t know what to do but I am sure I will do something for you my little angel. I saw the line disintegrating, people with no hope in their eyes, no energy to drag their bodies, some sat down, few were unable to get up from where they were sitting and few left in search of food, some went towards the trees, other to the bushes and started collecting wild grains to cook as rice while others started chewing some leaves and bark. I saw this larger then life 2 and a half feet young man following the older folks to the trees, he too plucked few leaves and chewed them and after they were soft enough he took a small amount out of his mouth and fed to his little angel, I saw a smile on little angels face saying thank you my hero, at the same time I could see the tears rolling down from the cheeks of this brave helpless hero saying “I am sorry I could not do anything better then this”, little one looked into his eyes and wiped his hero’s tears with his tiny hands and said “you are still my hero and I love you”. As a bird I am not sure how many times I cried bitterly seeing all this, tears I shed were more then my own weight, I too was helpless and didn’t not knew how to help. As I was praying for divine intervention I saw a women approaching these two little souls, she herself was grim looking, doesn’t seem she had food either for few days, she asked them if they ate anything, elder one looked into her eyes and started crying bitterly and said I am not hungry but my little brother had nothing to eat for 2 days, I gave him chewed leaves but he cant seem to swallow them, he needs some milk , he said while crying , little angel was also crying after seeing his brave hero crying. Women hugged both of them Kissed them and said don’t you worry I will feed her milk and we have some food which we have saved for ourselves we will feed both of you. She carried little angel to her lap and started nursing him and she also called her husband to bring an old loaf of bread and give it to the 2 and half feet hero to eat. I could see that 2 and half feet hero was relived and looked like a child again instead of the provider of the family but at the same time he was holding feet of his brother with one hand. He took the loaf of bread and had two bites of it and kept rest in his pocket, if the rescuers call Monday a non working day again then he can feed his little angel, or he was saving rest for his little angel. What ever it was it was a beautiful gesture of one human for the other. Both the brothers were in the arms of a generous couple, who had nothing to eat but whatever they had they gave it to those two little angels, I am not sure how much tears I lost during this, but I wish If I was not a bird, I did not have to see all this. This would have still happened but would not have affected me. That day onwards I decided not to fly low and closer to humans and only sit on the trees tall enough that I can’t see the pain and sufferings people are going through. I will go back to my world tomorrow never to come back to the land of misery and inequality. I wonder who will correct all this. With tearful eyes from a bird that soars high and vowed to never look down again.